Have you noticed how many people are neurotypical these days? (Sarcasm- or is it???)

Have you noticed there's an epidemic of neurotypicality going around? Man, those neurotypicals are everywhere these days. I'm certain there weren’t as many when I was growing up. It's reaching crisis point.

Something needs to be done (clutch pearls)!!. Those poor neurotypical kids. Their families are burdened with having to care for them and their strange ways of thinking.

Funding needs to be directed immediately toward curing neurotypicality. Don’t tell me they’re just wired differently - those people are suffering.

For starters, their senses are quite dull. They can ignore the scratchiness of a woolen top and the acidity of a sour apple. But unfortunately, their blunt senses also lead to them missing the beauty of a repeating pattern or the joy of a special interest. Their insensitivity means that they just don’t get it.

In addition, neurotypical kids are obsessed with conformity. They seek out whatever the group is doing and follow their lead. They blend into society and become invisible. But they are incredibly vulnerable to trends and fashion influencers and expensive gear. Their critical analysis skills are feeble, and they swallow marketing BS whole.

But the main feature is that these poor kids are cursed with an overwhelming desire to impress those other neurotypicals around them. So much energy is expended into them fitting in with the norm. They keep their behaviour aligned with everyone else's and actively prevent their individuality from shining though. When they hear the command to "just be yourself" they interpret this as following the herd. 

In addition, neurotypical kids are very easily triggered when they encounter those who differ. The statistic is that 100% of playground bullies are neurotypicals. Shocking, isn’t it? We could end bullying forever by curing neurotypicality.

The ultimate tragedy is that it is rare for any neurotypicals to experience an original thought. So few Nobel laureate scientists and creators are neurotypical. The good news is that they are probably capable of developing originality - provided they receive lots of expensive, targeted therapy (I hear ABA might help) but it does not come naturally to them.

Unfortunately, neurotypicals now seem to be the majority of society, it shines a light on what is desperately needed: more funding for research. Because maybe a cure for neurotypicality can be found. In the meantime, maybe we need to just pump them up with more vaccines.

Let's all pledge that together we can cure the tragedy of neurotypicality.